Having brothers taught me not to date.

Growing up, I was never the girl who "needed" a guy. I think a lot of it was because I grew up around my brothers and all of their friends. My father was a great man who showed me love and I didn't need to seek it out from anyone else. I didn't date when I was in school. Sure I had the teenage crushes, but when it came down to it, I was the girl who would rather hang out with my friends and my family than dress up and go out on a date. For those of you who know me, you know how awkward and carefree I am. It wasn't much better in high school. Growing up around all the testosterone meant I knew what they were like and how their brains worked and I wasn't interested in having a relationship with something like that.

I thought, "I'll wait until I'm older and the guys have grown up".

Then I became older and realized....the guys NEVER grow up.

The following apply to some/most men (including but not limited to my brothers and/or guys I have dated):

They still would rather play video games and watch football than do most other things.
They still want to go out with the boys and have a good time.
They still laugh at the words "poop" and "fart".
They still (genuinely) forget to call you.
They still think it's funny to tell a woman to "get in the kitchen".
They still want to blow things up in the backyard.
They still want to shoot things.
They still like cartoons and cereal.
They still pick their noses and (although some don't admit it) they flick the boogers.
They still wish they were a superhero.
They still wear footie pajamas. (Yes, I dated one of them...)
They still have loyalty to their mothers.
They still think it's funny to fart in the car and lock the windows so that you breathe in their death fumes. (My "hilarious" bothers.)
They still want bigger, badder, louder cars.
They still couldn't survive without a woman, whether it's their mother or a wife.
They still think if something looks or smells disgusting that they should share it with EVERYONE. And that it's hilarious.

"DUDE, Bill, you've gotta come smell this!" ** "..*Sniff sniff* That's disgusting. It smells terrible. JACK, come smell this!" ** "..*Sniff sniff* Gross. Let's go tell Emily to smell it. This will be funny." ...Emily didn't find it funny, in case you were wondering how this scenario ended.

Men are just really tall little boys. Their maturity levels are about the same, their sense of humor is about the same, their attention span is about the same. Hopefully, if you've found a good one, his income is higher, his IQ is higher and his ability to function in social situations has improved.

I see all my friends getting engaged, getting married and having kids. On one hand, GOOD FOR YOU GUYS. You get to change poopy diapers and do your spouses' taxes while I get to go out on the weekends and have poop-free (usually) fun with my friends.

**I'm just kidding about the usually part. Poop is never involved in our fun. Except the one time we lit some on fire on that mean guy's porch. Just kidding, Mom. That never happened....**

But on the other hand, I'm getting to that age where it doesn't sound so bad.
**Getting to come home to your best friend and talk about your day...while I slave in the kitchen make him dinner and he watches COPS or whatever he watches on the couch with one hand in his pants and the other filled with a beer can. (Sounds a bit like Al Bundy. Maybe I watched this too much with Daddy.)
**Getting to celebrate the holidays twice; once with his loving family welcoming me and once with mine welcoming him.
**Having that connection with someone that is so strong, they know what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. If it's bad, they make it good. If it's good they make it better.
**Waking up next to someone that I love so much, I can't put it into words; someone who loves me so much, I can't help but feel it.
**Knowing that God made this person just for me. He made someone to complete me, to make every part of me perfect and complete.
**Having two incomes to support my lavish lifestyle. Yeah...right. That one was just to see if you're still paying attention.

I look forward to meeting this person one day. I know God has it in His plans. Sometimes I just wish I could peek at the plans so I could dress up and actually put some effort into my appearance on the right day...and completely ignore my appearance on all other days. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. So for now, I'll do my hair and makeup. Dang.