Brisco Tacets

Exhaustion makes us funnier than usual. We say things and think things and dream things differently.

Last night I dreamed that someone moved into my room with me. Her (no idea who she was) little sister came in and started throwing things out of my closet. I woke up so angry.

Then, when I woke up this morning and tried to check the time on my phone, I dropped it on my face. Actually, it was square on the nose. I don't know if you've ever dropped something on your nose but it makes your eyes cry. Not fun.

After that, I put hand soap on my toothbrush and put the toothpaste in the trash can.

In the shower, I washed my hair. Then I put my body wash in my hair, so I had to shampoo all over again.

Went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription and when asked by the pharmacist, "what's your birthday?" I responded "Um, no...it's not."

Tonight at dinner, I ordered Brisco Tacets. Lucky for me the waiter understood that I meant Brisket Tacos. There's no telling what I could have ended up with.

On the way home, I missed my exit. Then I made a split second decision to just take the next exit. Then I missed it too. Then I exited and turned around to get back on and go to the correct exit...then I missed it again. I really wasn't sure if I would ever get home.

I made it home. My neck hurt pretty bad. Fortunately, I am the proud owner of many tubes of Icy Hot. So I rubbed some of that miracle cream on. However, my eye began to itch. I used the OTHER hand to scratch it. But then as I left the bathroom, I scratched it again with the Icy Hot hand. Damn that short term memory of mine.

Now I'm home laying in my bed with a heating pad on my neck, one eye covered with a wet paper towel and a pretty painful bruise on my face from when I dropped my phone on it. And I can't even begin to count the number of times I've used the backspace key because my fingers are just kind of typing random letters. I keep thinking of the words I want to type and my fingers just kind of flow in a pattern kind of like ;alisjidoj lkjdosif woiejf wiensvsd.

I think I'm going to call it a night before I harm myself any more. Maybe sleep will cure this ailment of self-inflicted pain and the series of unfortunate events that has been my Saturday.