My afternoons.

My afternoon class is usually a group of boys; only boys, ages 4-10. On occasion, I have a girl that stays for an hour or so, but I'm usually trapped in a room with young boys playing action figures and legos. Listening to their conversations is the highlight of my day. Kids really do say the darnedest things!

Here is a small compilation of things I have heard them say that I felt were worth writing down. (I will simply use a letter to represent the children's' names and a number for their age. Keep in mind, they're all boys unless otherwise specified.) The list will continue to grow. Enjoy!

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*Playing some hiding game with action figures*
N(10):  "HAHA, I found you!"
E(8):    "Uh, no...you didn't. I'm black so you probably can't even see me through the
          smoke."
N(10):  "Fine. (Turns to another boy) I caught you!!"
V(6):   "No way. I'm too big to catch. I'm 500 pounds because I like McDonald's."

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*His friend walks away and starts goofing around*
L(5):   "Well, I'm gonna do this while you do all your jibbelty jack. Such a waste of
        time."

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*Arguing about action figures*
E(8):  "Okay, but my character is deaf."
V(6):  "Your guy is death?"
E(8):  "No, not death. Deaf! Death is when you die, deaf is when your ears die."

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*Talking during snack*
N(10): "Yeah because zombies eat peoples' flesh."
Me: "Let's find something else to talk about!"
M The only girl in class (8): "Yeah! Like puppies or rainbows or stickers. Stuff like that."

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*Showing me his lego creation*
E(8):  "It's like the third quadruple most amazing thing in the world."

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N(10):  "Let's have a dance competition!"
L(5):    "No, I can't."
N(10):  "Well, why not?!"
L(5):     "They're my secret moves. I can't show people my secret moves. That's why
            they're called secret."

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N(10):  "Gross, who just farted?"
Me:    "We don't need to talk about that. And let's use a different word next time,
         please."
V(6):    "We say toot, or pass gas, or stepping on frogs, or booty whispers."

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*Talking about eating cherries*
M(5):  "Sometimes they feel juicy and taste like mushrooms."
V(6):   "But mushrooms grow out of the ground and cherries grow from..umm...God?"

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O(4):  "I learned how to tie my shoes. Something about a rabbit in a hole, but my
         rabbit never stays in his hole. That's why we had six more weeks of winter."

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V(6): "Ms. Miller, how old are you? Well, umm...if I had to guess, I'd say you're like 80.
       Because you look young and old. I think my mom is 85. So you look younger 
       than her, but older than me."