Sometimes the truth hurts. I am fortunate to have friends who speak their minds. My friends are honest and sometimes blunt, but it's usually necessary.
There has been a lot on my mind lately.
It's really hard to face the facts and notice the negative when, for so long, you've fought for the positive. When the red flags are raised, it's time to take a step back and read the fine print. That stupid fine print is the part that always gets you in trouble. It's the secret that someone has kept from you, it's the lie someone has told you, it's the ugly truth that lies beneath the perfections. Sometimes I wish I could just mark out the fine print and pretend it didn't exist. But as we all know, a time comes when those tiny little words at the bottom of the page determine the outcome.
Life is hard. I don't think it would be good if it was easy. If everything was handed to you, the perfect job; the perfect husband; the perfect family; the perfect everything, life wouldn't have the surprises, the romance, or the thrills. Granted, we wouldn't have the heartbreak, the sadness, or the fear, but LIFE itself would lose its glamour.
I've never had it "easy". I'm thankful that I've never had it "hard" either. But I've always had to work for what I wanted. I'm grateful for my parents because that is the woman they raised me to be. I don't believe in gliding through life. I am not the kind of girl who wants a boy to buy me everything. I don't expect to receive anything. I know I will get what I want because I will work until I do.
That being said, I'm not much of a decision maker. I always fear that I will make the wrong choice and regret it. I'm afraid to hurt someone else in the process. I don't want to look back and wonder "what if". I have several decisions to make in the near future. None of them are easy, and all of them will affect my life in many ways. All I can do is pray that the decisions I make are the right ones.
For those of you that are still reading, you're either really bored and have nothing better to do or you're a good friend. Either way, I never turn down advice. Like I said, my friends are honest with me and it makes my decisions a little more clear.
That's all for today. Thanks for reading! :)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
RULE #32
It's been a fantastic weekend! I spent time with friends and family and thoroughly cleaned the apartment.
I feel so blessed to have the people I have in my life. My sister, brother-in-law and nieces are so wonderful. They encourage me in everything I do. I enjoying spending time with them because I feel so surrounded with love, even when my brother-in-law is being a total butt head.
My mother is a wonderful woman. She has raised me to be a strong woman with a good head on my shoulders. I am proud of her for everything she has done. She has made a life for herself and manages to include my brother and I in it even though we are so busy.
My friends are my world. Everything really does happen for a reason. I have made some amazing friends this year that I wouldn't have met if I hadn't made some mistakes that led me down this path. My friends encourage me in all of my endeavors. They make me feel loved and wanted. I am happy to have them.
As I sit on my couch next to one of my best friends/roommate watching TV and eating dessert, I am reminded of the little things in life that make it so great. And because we watched Zombieland the other day, I will conclude by saying:
I feel so blessed to have the people I have in my life. My sister, brother-in-law and nieces are so wonderful. They encourage me in everything I do. I enjoying spending time with them because I feel so surrounded with love, even when my brother-in-law is being a total butt head.
My mother is a wonderful woman. She has raised me to be a strong woman with a good head on my shoulders. I am proud of her for everything she has done. She has made a life for herself and manages to include my brother and I in it even though we are so busy.
My friends are my world. Everything really does happen for a reason. I have made some amazing friends this year that I wouldn't have met if I hadn't made some mistakes that led me down this path. My friends encourage me in all of my endeavors. They make me feel loved and wanted. I am happy to have them.
As I sit on my couch next to one of my best friends/roommate watching TV and eating dessert, I am reminded of the little things in life that make it so great. And because we watched Zombieland the other day, I will conclude by saying:
RULE #32: Enjoy the little things.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
So, this is what relief feels like?
This semester has been crazy busy. Ya know, I never realized how much work "journalism" truly entailed until I signed up for these classes. Any free time that I thought I would have was quickly filled with last minute touch-ups or frantic redo's. The hardest part was that every time you thought you had completed a task, you were told to add another element, or remove this element, or switch these two elements, or throw away every element you had on the page and use new elements- that's the professors way of saying, "well that sucked, try again". Nothing was ever good enough.
It wasn't that the professors tore you to pieces, they just tore your WORK to pieces. I understand that is their job as journalism instructors to prepare you for the real world. But really, all that does is freak me out about the real world. Where the heck have I been living?! I was clearly mistaken in thinking that all this time, I've been living in the real world. According to these professors, I've been living in a fantasy world.
'SCUSE ME...if this was a fantasy world, I think it would be a hell of a lot different. My fantasy does not include spending my weekends filming a project, or taking off of work just to scrape up enough time to run to the lab, or spending sleepless nights laboring in front of a computer screen. There is a small chance that I will go cross-eyed before my college career is complete.
Now that I have torn apart the journalism industry, let me build it up a little. It has been a good experience. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot. I have learned new technology, new techniques, and new skills. I have experience new things and met many new people. Even though it was incredibly stressful and time consuming, now that it is over, I can look back and say that I enjoyed [parts of] it.
And NOW THAT I'M DONE, I can enjoy many things that I missed this semester. Hello summer break! :):):)
It wasn't that the professors tore you to pieces, they just tore your WORK to pieces. I understand that is their job as journalism instructors to prepare you for the real world. But really, all that does is freak me out about the real world. Where the heck have I been living?! I was clearly mistaken in thinking that all this time, I've been living in the real world. According to these professors, I've been living in a fantasy world.
'SCUSE ME...if this was a fantasy world, I think it would be a hell of a lot different. My fantasy does not include spending my weekends filming a project, or taking off of work just to scrape up enough time to run to the lab, or spending sleepless nights laboring in front of a computer screen. There is a small chance that I will go cross-eyed before my college career is complete.
Now that I have torn apart the journalism industry, let me build it up a little. It has been a good experience. I can honestly say that I have learned a lot. I have learned new technology, new techniques, and new skills. I have experience new things and met many new people. Even though it was incredibly stressful and time consuming, now that it is over, I can look back and say that I enjoyed [parts of] it.
And NOW THAT I'M DONE, I can enjoy many things that I missed this semester. Hello summer break! :):):)
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Do you know anyone like him?
A man died for my sins. A man gave his life so that I could be free. A man was wrapped in cloth and placed in a tomb to cleanse me. This man was the son of God and he was raised from the dead.
Tomorrow we will celebrate the power and the glory of our God.
The candy is great.
Hunting for eggs is entertaining.
Gifts from...the easter bunny...are welcomed.
But the true meaning of Easter is the highlight of Spring.
Happy Easter!
God Bless.
Tomorrow we will celebrate the power and the glory of our God.
The candy is great.
Hunting for eggs is entertaining.
Gifts from...the easter bunny...are welcomed.
But the true meaning of Easter is the highlight of Spring.
Happy Easter!
God Bless.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
How Time Flies
It's crazy to look back at your life.
1990: I was born.
1990-2007: Elementary School- when the hardest part of my day was deciding which lunch line to stand in and who to sit by. Junior High and High School- The most dramatic time of my life. The time when every young persons' hormones are racing and rubbing up against the boy you liked in the hallway gave you butterflies in your stomach...I gained many friends and grew apart from many friends.
Summer 2008 - my last year of youth camp. Oh, that summer was great...until I got home. My mother told me that while I was gone, my father had overdosed on his medications. He was still alive, but my spirit was broken. I began to imagine a life without my dad and I couldn't handle it. My dad and I talked about it, a lot. Our relationship, one that had never really existed, began to flourish that summer. I told him everything and talked to him every day. He was the person I trusted the most in the world.
October 7, 2008- the worst day of my life. This was the night I came home from work to discover that my father was not there. At 11:12 PM the police shared with us where they had found him. My mom, my brother and I huddled in a circle in the living room and cried. This day changed my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. It tore my life apart, but yet, it built it up.
2009-2010: I graduated from high school and moved away from mom's house. I started college and a brand new life. My mom got married in November of 2009. 2010 started off wonderfully. I started dating a wonderful guy and my roommates were the best people you could imagine. Things were perfect...until they broke my heart.
April 2010: It is so hard to think that this was one year ago. A year ago, I sat in my room, heartbroken and alone. The four people that were the most important in my life no longer felt the same. He left me for his ex-girlfriend, and my 3 best friends pushed me away. I spent that entire month completely alone. If it weren't for the grace of God and Krystal Stroud, I don't know where I would be. That angel gave me the strength and the direction to move on from the "terrible four".
From then to now: The last year of my life has truly tested me. I am so thankful for the way things have turned out. I hate that I had to go through the heartache, but honestly, I think you have to face some heartache before you can truly be happy. I am at such a wonderful point in my life. I miss my father every day of my life and I am not happy that he is gone. But I am thankful for the time we did have together and for all the things he has instilled in me. I am a strong, smart, beautiful, thoughtful, honest, hardworking woman. I have my mother and my father to thank for that. Working through the obstacles in your life is what makes you strong and it is what makes the final destination so much better. Just being handed a wonderful life is not rewarding, but realizing what you had to overcome to get there is the best feeling in the world.
Time really does fly by. There are horrible times, and there are wonderful times. There are times that you wish you could go through again because they were so much fun, and there are times that you wish you could go through again so things would turn out differently. But no matter what times you have had in your life, you have been built up. Look at the person you are and be thankful for those who got you to that point.
1990: I was born.
1990-2007: Elementary School- when the hardest part of my day was deciding which lunch line to stand in and who to sit by. Junior High and High School- The most dramatic time of my life. The time when every young persons' hormones are racing and rubbing up against the boy you liked in the hallway gave you butterflies in your stomach...I gained many friends and grew apart from many friends.
Summer 2008 - my last year of youth camp. Oh, that summer was great...until I got home. My mother told me that while I was gone, my father had overdosed on his medications. He was still alive, but my spirit was broken. I began to imagine a life without my dad and I couldn't handle it. My dad and I talked about it, a lot. Our relationship, one that had never really existed, began to flourish that summer. I told him everything and talked to him every day. He was the person I trusted the most in the world.
October 7, 2008- the worst day of my life. This was the night I came home from work to discover that my father was not there. At 11:12 PM the police shared with us where they had found him. My mom, my brother and I huddled in a circle in the living room and cried. This day changed my life in ways I couldn't have imagined. It tore my life apart, but yet, it built it up.
2009-2010: I graduated from high school and moved away from mom's house. I started college and a brand new life. My mom got married in November of 2009. 2010 started off wonderfully. I started dating a wonderful guy and my roommates were the best people you could imagine. Things were perfect...until they broke my heart.
April 2010: It is so hard to think that this was one year ago. A year ago, I sat in my room, heartbroken and alone. The four people that were the most important in my life no longer felt the same. He left me for his ex-girlfriend, and my 3 best friends pushed me away. I spent that entire month completely alone. If it weren't for the grace of God and Krystal Stroud, I don't know where I would be. That angel gave me the strength and the direction to move on from the "terrible four".
From then to now: The last year of my life has truly tested me. I am so thankful for the way things have turned out. I hate that I had to go through the heartache, but honestly, I think you have to face some heartache before you can truly be happy. I am at such a wonderful point in my life. I miss my father every day of my life and I am not happy that he is gone. But I am thankful for the time we did have together and for all the things he has instilled in me. I am a strong, smart, beautiful, thoughtful, honest, hardworking woman. I have my mother and my father to thank for that. Working through the obstacles in your life is what makes you strong and it is what makes the final destination so much better. Just being handed a wonderful life is not rewarding, but realizing what you had to overcome to get there is the best feeling in the world.
Time really does fly by. There are horrible times, and there are wonderful times. There are times that you wish you could go through again because they were so much fun, and there are times that you wish you could go through again so things would turn out differently. But no matter what times you have had in your life, you have been built up. Look at the person you are and be thankful for those who got you to that point.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Luck
Is there really such a thing? We use this word a lot. Think about it.
* You're so lucky that you found the man of your dreams.
* You're so lucky that you passed that test even though you didn't study.
* You're so lucky you got that job.
* You're so lucky to have wonderful friends.
I don't believe that luck is necessarily the reason for most things. Yes, it's commonly what we chalk our fortunes up to, but there's more to it. Look under the surface.
*The man of your dreams is hard to find, but it's not luck that brings him to you. It's patience and faith. You deserve someone as great as him, you aren't just lucky.
*Sure, you passed your test, but more than likely it's because you listened in class and did your assignments. You know the material - you didn't get lucky.
*They finally called you back for an interview and you got the job. I bet that had something to do with your job experience and wonderful report in your interview. And your job history and incredible recommendations probably helped. Not your "luck".
*Friends are so important in life and yours are amazing. You feel so lucky to have them. They're in your life because you are a wonderful person and you treat them the way they want to be treated. They love you and want to stick around. You didn't luck into getting great friends, you earned them and you keep them.
Sorry if I sound like a Debbie Downer, I just don't necessarily think luck plays a huge part in my life. I think, at least for me, anything that people may think was "lucky" was actually a result of hard work or dedication or faith or strength or fate. It bothers me when people say "you're so lucky..." as if they aren't. I work hard for the things I have and I didn't luck into getting them.
* You're so lucky that you found the man of your dreams.
* You're so lucky that you passed that test even though you didn't study.
* You're so lucky you got that job.
* You're so lucky to have wonderful friends.
I don't believe that luck is necessarily the reason for most things. Yes, it's commonly what we chalk our fortunes up to, but there's more to it. Look under the surface.
*The man of your dreams is hard to find, but it's not luck that brings him to you. It's patience and faith. You deserve someone as great as him, you aren't just lucky.
*Sure, you passed your test, but more than likely it's because you listened in class and did your assignments. You know the material - you didn't get lucky.
*They finally called you back for an interview and you got the job. I bet that had something to do with your job experience and wonderful report in your interview. And your job history and incredible recommendations probably helped. Not your "luck".
*Friends are so important in life and yours are amazing. You feel so lucky to have them. They're in your life because you are a wonderful person and you treat them the way they want to be treated. They love you and want to stick around. You didn't luck into getting great friends, you earned them and you keep them.
Sorry if I sound like a Debbie Downer, I just don't necessarily think luck plays a huge part in my life. I think, at least for me, anything that people may think was "lucky" was actually a result of hard work or dedication or faith or strength or fate. It bothers me when people say "you're so lucky..." as if they aren't. I work hard for the things I have and I didn't luck into getting them.
***Well, Allison, what about winning the lottery?!Good point. You can't exactly win the lottery using your hard work, intelligence, skills, dedication, or even pulling your shirt down low enough for the clerk behind the counter...perhaps that is luck. Or maybe it's just timing - you happened to get the right ticket at the right time. I don't know. But for the majority of my experiences, luck is not the reason. If you feel so unlucky, try patience and hard work! :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
When one door closes, another one opens.
My mom has told me this for years. You never want to hear it because you're too preoccupied worrying about the closed door. You feel like there has to be a way to open it again. But the truth is, behind that door lies a part of your past. Whether it's a person, a lifestyle, a job, or an idea, it is not meant to be a part of your future.
You have to simply change direction and look for a new opening. Like a parent with their child, God would never trap you in a room and risk your life with no way out. The thing is, sometimes we feel like that is exactly what is happening.
When that "relationship" door closes, we wander around looking for another door. But honestly, when do we ever find what we're looking for? It's when we stop looking! It's in a place you wouldn't expect, a place you thought you had already looked. Then you meet that guy at work who makes you smile like a school girl. Good thing that crappy "energy company working - ex girlfriend loving - empty nothingness of a future" boyfriend closed the door.
Sometimes the door is like an entry to a casino- BRIGHT LIGHTS, big doors, and tons of people flowing through it. No question about it, you know where to go! Sometimes it's more like the hole that those pesky bugs get through- you just can't find it anywhere! But there IS a door. Or a window. Or at least a little peep hole that you can peer through while you're waiting for God to finish building the stupid door you're looking for. Either way, there is a way out. When the time is right, you will find it, it will open, and you will discover something glorious. Now we just have to work on finding the patience we need to wait for that time.
I'm done reflecting now. Time to get some sleep because I have a door opening in the morning and I can't wait to see the person on the other side! :):)
You have to simply change direction and look for a new opening. Like a parent with their child, God would never trap you in a room and risk your life with no way out. The thing is, sometimes we feel like that is exactly what is happening.
...Our boyfriend dumps us and the world comes to a STOP. Our life cannot continue if he is not sitting next to us holding our hand and giving us a shoulder to cry on. COME ON LADIES, think this through. Think about the ex-boyfriend that you cried over. Where is he now? Who is he dating? What is his job? Most of the time, his future is looking pretty bleak. Now, is that the future you want for yourself? Personally, I don't want a boyfriend who is hooked on his ex-girlfriend, working for some crappy energy company driving a car around all day and coming home smelling like sweat and death, heading in a direction with no education and no purpose...
When that "relationship" door closes, we wander around looking for another door. But honestly, when do we ever find what we're looking for? It's when we stop looking! It's in a place you wouldn't expect, a place you thought you had already looked. Then you meet that guy at work who makes you smile like a school girl. Good thing that crappy "energy company working - ex girlfriend loving - empty nothingness of a future" boyfriend closed the door.
Sometimes the door is like an entry to a casino- BRIGHT LIGHTS, big doors, and tons of people flowing through it. No question about it, you know where to go! Sometimes it's more like the hole that those pesky bugs get through- you just can't find it anywhere! But there IS a door. Or a window. Or at least a little peep hole that you can peer through while you're waiting for God to finish building the stupid door you're looking for. Either way, there is a way out. When the time is right, you will find it, it will open, and you will discover something glorious. Now we just have to work on finding the patience we need to wait for that time.
I'm done reflecting now. Time to get some sleep because I have a door opening in the morning and I can't wait to see the person on the other side! :):)
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